Candor - Is it welcomed at your workplace?

Imagine a workplace where people are interacting in an open, honest, and forthright way; communicating without reservation, saying what they mean.

Now imagine that workplace is also guided by the spirit of compassion – where interactions are both frank and kind; genuine and thoughtful.

From a communication practitioner’s perspective, it sounds like workplace utopia! It sets the stage for robust organizational health - building relationship with every conversation. It also has the potential to create a true learning and collaborative environment. Imagine that!

Author Kim Scott, in her book, Radical Candor, speaks of a communication framework that is both challenging and caring, combining direct feedback with empathy. The aim of such a framework is to promote growth through sincere praise and clear, kind criticism. In other words, the kind of cultural backbone that builds respect, trust, and excellence.

Getting to Candor

There’s a collection of skills and a particular mindset required to be effective at candor. It is not sufficient to be “direct”. Or “tell it like it is”, as if one has zero responsibility for their emotional wake. It is not a euphemism for brutal honesty. Practicing being candid isn’t about being stubbornly right. It is not a blank check to spew out your unprocessed thoughts and emotions. Also important to keep in mind, your candor isn’t necessarily “the truth”, nor does your opinion need to be expressed in every situation.

The goal is not to create a psychologically safe culture. The goal is to create a culture that can meet the demands of your organization. A culture that can deliver on its “raison d'être.”

Psychological safety is the condition needed to foster such a culture, where candor is not only welcomed, but rewarded; where accountability is embraced, not merely experienced as a reprimand; where mistakes are portals of discovery, not shameful acts to be covered up; and where space is made for the vulnerable acts of risk- and initiative-taking, respectful disagreements, and not having the answers.

Psychological safety is an indicator of a healthy, learning culture of contribution. It’s not about niceties or avoiding discomfort. In fact, if your culture lacks spirited discourse, it may not be as psychologically safe as you think. People may be holding back, playing it safe vs. feeling safe, and thereby not being fully engaged in creative problem-solving.

Candor plants the seeds for trusted collaboration. It can set the tone for meaningful dialogue – sparking a shared curiosity and commitment to delivering on the work. It’s the antithesis of hidden agendas or manipulative insincerity.

Candor: It Can Be Refreshing

The fact that candor is frequently preceded by the adjective ‘refreshing’ suggests that it is often unexpected, a shift from guarded or euphemistic language. Candor, done right, can be refreshing and freeing. It can say, “I hold you in high regard and want to share my take on things”.  

When people trust that you come with good intentions and speak your truth, they know where they stand with you. There’s less ambiguity and second guessing about the message or the motivation. This results in more transparency and less drama. And for those driven by efficiency – candor cuts through the noise and confusion that can stall progress.

Healthy candor is sharing your perspective, from the heart, with a desire to do so for the greater good, from a place of respect and care, while raising the collective bar. It’s about creating a culture that brings out our best - removing obstacles, challenging assumptions, bringing clarity to expectations, and daylighting blind spots.  It does not coddle, nor does it demean.  

Good employees want candor!

I sat writing this column at a local watering hole, and in classic Karen fashion, was observing the scene around me. There was a table of three having a grand ole time together. Observation turned to engagement and soon they invited me to join them. I explained I couldn’t stay as I had to finish my column, and they asked what I was writing about. I responded, “it’s about candor and psychological safety in the workplace”. I learned they worked for the USPS, across different departments, and they were caring, passionate, frustrated, hopeful, and hungry for their culture to evolve. When I explained that that psychological safety wasn’t about coddling but about creating the right conditions to do good work, one woman, wholeheartedly welcomed the idea, saying, we want a culture where we are “not babying, and putting up with ineptitude.”

Candor in Action

“What one person sees as helpful candor, another might experience as harsh criticism.”—Dr. Diane Hamilton, Forbes.com. It takes practice to strike the right balance. Here are some examples:

• The CEO’s candor during the quarterly meeting helped employees understand the company’s challenges and how they could contribute to solutions.

• “I appreciate your candor during that meeting. It was hard to hear but we had a more productive discussion as a result.”

• “Our 1:1 meetings are invaluable to me, yet when you keep rescheduling them it feels like they are not a priority to you. I appreciate you are busy, but can we be more consistent in having them?”

• “Well, I could have handled that better. My passion overrode my patience.”

Wanting a culture of trust and respect without a willingness to embrace radical candor is like wanting to be physically fit without the willingness and discipline to exercise regularly. It takes courage to overcome our fears to speak up and to stop tolerating a culture of mediocracy.

Imagine a Culture of Candor

Imagine a workplace where the unspoken is spoken, there are no “elephants in the room” and fewer backroom negotiations and side conversations!

Think of it as the capacity to articulate your perspective, your thoughts and feelings in a clear, impactful, and effective way.

If in doubt, consider Scott’s summary of radical candor, “saying what you think while giving a damn about the person you are saying it to”.

When tensions rise ...

Perhaps the most common desired outcome I hear from coaching clients is to learn how to better navigate difficult conversations.

It is understandable. Conflict can feel incredibly uncomfortable, destabilizing, and even threatening. Our emotions get triggered, our words mangled, and our demeanor disheveled. We don’t feel in control in an atmosphere that is charged. That can lead to feeling exposed in a way that we feel a need to protect ourselves.

Self-protection shows up in a lot of ways. The most common armors we adorn are defensiveness and righteousness, which can lead to lashing out, avoidance and/or stubbornness. And while they may feel justified, they do little to advance the issues, solicit growth, or foster a healthy workplace culture.

When we feel tensions rise it is our emotional intelligence awakening the need to tend to issues that matter to us. The sooner we do so, the more likely we can successfully cut through the intensity and unpack what is really transpiring underneath. The longer we wait, the more likely those tensions are to simmer until they boil over into resentment, building our case against others, anchoring our assumptions as truth, and our hurt as proof of being wronged. 

In Brene Brown’s book, “Dare to Lead”, she introduces us to her concept of, “Let’s rumble”, as a way to show up differently in these spaces. “A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to break and circle back, when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts…”. Now, that’s a lot to bring when we are having strong negative feelings, but it is an excellent framework to practice!

Recently I was coaching an emerging leader who was left with a lingering sour taste after how feedback was delivered from his manager. It was confusing as he is regularly being praised for his performance, but a recent conversation left him feeling off. As we unpacked the situation, we zeroed in on what was troubling him and why, and he felt confident to speak to his manager in a way that would clear the air and recalibrate the relationship.

The beauty of it: he didn’t wait, didn’t stew on it, didn’t extrapolate a fabricated story about his manager from the experience, rather he owned and acted on the emotional cues to get to the heart of the matter. He can do this in large part because there is a strong foundation of earned mutual trust in their relationship. That guy is going to be a remarkable leader!

A deepening of the relationship

People are often surprised when I tell them that my original conflict style was “avoid and placate”. If you would have told young Karen that one day I would lean into the discomfort to embrace a more honest conversation; that one day I would be teaching others the art of navigating those tough conversations with their messy emotions, I would have surely scoffed!

My motivation for addressing sticky issues isn’t because I enjoy a good “rumble” as Brene Brown would call it. I find the courage to have a real conversation because I understand that on the other side of that discomfort is the potential for a more meaningful relationship. It has been increasingly difficult for me to sit with something that is left unsaid, for I understand it is an obstacle to the very thing I want: connection.

The conflict is the way through

I had another client experience where both parties were feeling the growing tensions of their fractured relationship. In preparation for a facilitated dialogue, I interviewed them both independently. What we discovered was fascinating – they were experiencing the same frustrations! Neither felt respected by the other, nor did they feel heard.

Listening is often the first thing to evaporate when conflict is brewing. And yet, as Brown’s research shows, “the antidote to armoring up is staying curious”. If we can, “listen with same passion with which we want to be heard,” as psychologist Harriet Lerner invites us to do, we are better able to “show up with an open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not our egos (or our fears)” [Brene Brown].

Burying discomfort doesn’t make it go away. It’s always lurking just below the surface, ready to trip us up. Unresolved issues are an improperly cared for wound that tend to fester and negatively impact health. Left unattended, the fracture spills into team dynamics and organizational culture, with significant costs.

How you manage tension shapes the norms of your workplace. Do you surface issues promptly and respectfully, or lean on passive aggressive techniques that erode trust and respect and add drama, inefficiencies, and ineffectiveness?

Feeling tension?

• Acknowledge it, without judgment or justification.

• Examine your emotions. Sit with them to understand them. Resist the urge to make someone else responsible for them.

• Examine your motivations. Is it to be right, or to grow? To resolve an impasse? Advance a cause? To feel less stressed? Or to create a harmonious and respectful work environment?

• Initiate a “rumble” conversation.   Turn down the noise and seek common ground

• Hunt for insights – for yourself and in understanding others.  You don’t have to agree to validate someone’s experience.

Creating a culture of belonging

Addressing the tension we feel not only builds resiliency and relationships, it sends a message that we value diverse opinions, styles, approaches, and perspectives. Inviting real conversations with the intent of truly understanding provides a forum for creating alignment, making new agreements, and creating space for a fuller experience and an expression of potential.

Slow down, set aside your armor, and find the courage to find another way through.

From Critic to Critical Thinker

As a business therapist, my job is to help untangle the complexity of human dynamics in the work world. In this attempt at sense-making, I sometimes stumble upon an insight or perspective that feeds into a societal norm or trend. Here is what I am noticing …

We are conflating the act of criticizing (ourselves and others), with the skill of critical thinking.

In a series of recent training sessions, I explored with my client the ways in which we use criticism of ourselves as a carrot and stick mechanism for self-improvement. In other words, in the name of personal growth, we beat ourselves up. In the name of feeling better about ourselves, we cast judgment onto others, allowing the faults we perceive of theirs to elevate the perception we have of ourselves. Being critical in this fashion is often shame-inducing, which generally ignites feelings of defensiveness. These acts of criticism ultimately drain our energy and deteriorate our relationships.

Most of us like to think we are critical thinkers, just like we all like to think we are good drivers! And yet, the constant media/information vortex in which we find ourselves diminishes our critical thinking skills. If you are going to have a story, data, report, or social media post influence your way of thinking, what you believe to be true, and decisions you make in your life, you’ll want to trust that the interpretation has gone through some rigor.

As a self-proclaimed word geek, I had to do a little etymological digging.  The word “critical” can mean:

1. Judging severely and finding fault.

2. Reflecting careful analysis and judgment.

3. A turning point; crucial or decisive.

4. Being in, or on the verge of, a state of crisis or emergency.

We are strengthening our capacity to be armchair critics (judging severely and finding fault), while losing our capacity to think critically (reflecting careful analysis). If we operate as if everything is critical (state of crisis), we are perpetuating an unhealthy sense of urgency and feeding drama. If, on the other hand, we practice an astute way of perceiving the world, we may bring a critical eye that illuminates a truer reality.

Critical thinking is the ability to analyze information objectively – weeding out the biases, the inaccuracies, questioning assumptions, and assessing the reliability of sources. Critical thinking isn’t about being constantly negative or critical of everything. It is not meant as a copout to naysay change or validate resistance and remain stuck in one’s views. It’s about having an open, inquisitive mind that values the discovery process. It is about arriving at your own carefully considered conclusions instead of taking information at face value – and being able to shift your thinking when presented with new compelling data. It’s a nimble state of mind that affords you better decision-making and problem-solving.

Thinking critically can also help you see waste in workflows and innovate for better results because you have trained your brain to productively challenge the status quo, sometimes with the simple question of, “Why …”? Why do we do it this way? Coupled with curiosity and enthusiasm, the critical thinker can inspire fresh ideas and collaborative efforts for continuous improvement.

 Demonstrating your capacity to think clearly and integrate facts builds your credibility. Here are a few questions you can explore to help you stay vigilant:

• Is this information complete and up to date?

• What evidence is being presented to support the argument?

• Whose voice is missing here?

• Is the source trustworthy?

• Are there sweeping generalizations or absolutes being made?

• Can you distinguish between opinions, beliefs, and hard data?

• Can you name your own biases on this topic?

• Are you attached to your version of the story?

• Are you invested in proving “them” wrong or in finding the truth?

• Are you seeking validation for what you already know?

• Is the argument emotionally charged?

While critical thinking emphasizes logical reasoning, it does not need to do so at the exclusion of emotional intelligence. In fact, high EQ is essential in checking ourselves! Strong emotions can be amazing fuel for action, and they can cloud one’s perspective, fueling a stubborn attachment to a certain way of thinking.

Organizational psychologist Adam Grant offers this advice on how to be a better critical thinker:

1.     Be 10% more skeptical of people you agree with – and 10% more charitable to people you disagree with

2.     Look for flaws in ideas you like – and strengths in arguments you dislike.

3.     Discount sources that always trumpet the same narrative- and learn from those that engage with competing ideas.

Embracing this mental acuity is an opportunity to move from being critical to elevating our intellect. Yet, it isn’t just about becoming smarter or more effective. It’s a way to engage in the kind of dialogue that invites a real exchange of ideas. In doing so, we prioritize our relationships, because in the spirit of critical thinking we ask good, open-ended questions and listen intently. In this vein, even when we disagree, we will have a deeper understanding of motivations and reasons, rather than righteous indignation.

The human side of business is often complex and messy, yet it is the heart and soul of our work. Let’s show our colleagues the care and respect they deserve, and that we want for ourselves. Collectively, we can change the tone of our personal and professional discourse.

We don’t have to be critical, to think critically.

Seeking to elevate your impact in 2025?

In preparation for the new year, you may have reflected on how you want to advance your organization, your team, or your own leadership effectiveness. The beginning of a new year is a natural time for fresh starts – and behavioral science research shows that the “fresh start effect” can bring momentum to our efforts.

This is the time of year we usually define goals, shape priorities, connect accountabilities to initiatives, and generally finalize game plans. Clarity of direction is a powerful element in a leader’s repertoire. How else can people follow you if they don’t understand where you are going? Articulating goals puts your expectations in motion. Yet, inspiring sustained effort beyond the new year launch will take more than a well-thought-out strategy.

Unlock your ability to communicate, and you unlock your potential to lead.

Whatever your hopes for 2025, your capacity to achieve them might lie in your ability to clearly and compellingly communicate.

Communication is more than directing your team on the organization’s direction and goals. It’s more than offering valuable feedback, or keeping people informed, or even listening to colleagues’ new ideas (although all of those are essential). Communicating is more than getting our message across, it’s about making a connection. Communications guru Vinh Giang says, “If you want to influence people, it is not just our words, it is in the generosity of energy we give people.”

We all have an “emotional wake” that ripples out from us. Leaders especially so, as they set the tone for the cultural norms. That doesn’t translate into being overly responsible for others, rather owning how we show up and the impact we can have. Likely, you are not fully aware of the impact you have on others. In fact, sometimes we unintentionally create the very opposite desired effect!

Cue mindful leadership.

Each new year I begin with a theme to set my intentions. This year’s word: agency. It’s the capacity to influence my own thoughts and behavior; exercising autonomy in the choices I make, the things I do, and how I go about life. It’s personal accountability in action. I’ve discovered it is easier to embrace a sense of agency when I practice mindfulness. Only then do I have the level of consciousness to be aware of my patterns and direct my energies to align with what I want to experience.

Mindful leadership has the potential to reduce workplace stress, find new ways to solve problems, improve collaboration, promote adaptability to change, and increase creative contribution.

Mindful leaders bring an awareness to their surroundings, a keen observation of dynamics; they notice moods and shifts in energy, and they can sense disengagement in the moment. They pick up on nuances of body language and find entry points to engage even the most reserved. They are skilled in the art of being present and paying attention.

Couple all that with caring, and you have a leader who knows how to connect and inspire! Now what you have to say has more importance because you have invested in creating an honest and open space of belonging.

But first, you will want to hone those observation skills to develop self-awareness. You will have more credibility if you are able to honestly assess your own strengths, weaknesses, and emotional triggers. Notice the emotions that arise when you are in a difficult conversation with a colleague. Do you shut down? Raise your voice? Make them wrong? Become more authoritarian? Push your opinion as the only right one? A mindful leader takes a moment to breathe, assess the situation, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.

If you become known as a leader who makes thoughtful, balanced decisions aligned with core values and long-term goals, you will bring a steadiness and trustworthiness to your organization. Mindfulness brings clarity, focus, and calmness.

New leaders - notice when you are spending too much time and energy proving yourself, advocating stubbornly for your position or defaulting to the power of your position rather than the strength of the relationship. Allow space in a conversation for the dialogue to be organic; a flow that relinquishes control of the outcome. You can still be passionate about the issues, while being clued into what is happening for others. Bringing an empathetic ear might bring the shift needed to reduce friction and find common ground. We all want and deserve to be seen and heard.

Your leadership responsibility is helping those around you achieve their highest potential. If you master the skills of noticing and being curious about the people in your sphere of influence, you will send a message that they matter. In doing so, you are inviting them to bring their full and best selves to the work at hand.

This level of engagement fosters the kind of meaningful conversations that meet people where they are, discovering their unique value and motivations. Your capacity to elevate your impact begins with the simple act of paying attention with the intent to connect and cultivate. The results will follow. May 2025 be a mindfully led, potential-unlocked, and agency-infused year!

Mastering Chaos: Building Agency Through Emotional Resiliency

Have you ever experienced intense emotions at work that interfere with your capacity to focus; that create distance between you and a colleague; or generally limit your ability to do your best? Anger, frustration, hurt, anxiety, and embarrassment are just a few examples of tough emotions that challenge our potential to do great work.

Common reactions to tough emotions are to ignore, bury, pretend they don’t matter, avoid the situation or person, let it go (but not really), ruminate, make others wrong, build one’s case (and resentment), and speak poorly of others. Spoiler alert: these tactics backfire. The intense feelings get internalized and amplified, resulting in the burden of carrying an even bigger emotional load.

Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others, can make or break your job satisfaction, the possibility for meaningful, healthy relationships, and even your organization’s culture.

The beauty of delving into the complexity of emotions is that it can unearth incredible, epiphany-inducing insights. The mere act of sitting with and reflecting on the precise emotion you are experiencing can bring a deep awareness of what matters to you. By making the unconscious, conscious, we can navigate the difficult emotion with more clarity and intentionality.

Dr. Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, invites us to “go beyond the umbrella term to identify exactly what we are feeling.” For example, if we are feeling “hurt”, go deeper to understand why. Do you feel betrayed? Victimized? Jealous? Unappreciated? By understanding the emotion more accurately, we can begin to address it more effectively.

 Common Workplace Flare Ups

The workplace is a petri dish of emotional energy. People get triggered. Triggers are specific stimuli that lead to an intense emotional or psychological response. (Note: for those who have experienced trauma, the intensity will be more severe). There are several predictable ways in which an uncomfortable emotion becomes embedded in drama and dysfunction. Here are three common areas:

1.     Taking things personally,

2.     Making assumptions, and

3.     Making comparisons that results in questioning one’s value.

When negative emotions are stirred up, we often take things personally and get defensive. We attribute bad intent to the people connected to the experience. In the assumption of bad intent, we fabricate a story that feels like the truth. Misinterpretations lead to elevated tensions and decreased trust.

What might have been a simple communication breakdown, now is an unshakeable belief system – one that we defend wholeheartedly. We feel justified in our anger, we feel righteous in our position, and we stubbornly adhere to our opinions. We adorn our armor to protect where we feel most vulnerable.

 Example: “She made me anxious when she asked me that question in front of everyone. That was unfair of her to put me on the spot like that. She’s trying to discredit me. The other director isn’t meeting his goals either.”

What if, in the example above, the person that asked the question respects your opinion and believes you have something to offer to the discussion. Maybe they want to give you an opportunity to shine so you may be recognized for your thought leadership. The point being the only observable fact was the person was asked a question in a group environment. The rest is chaos conjured up.

Comparing ourselves to others. Brene Brown speaks of it as “trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out”. Her research indicates that comparisons are associated with fear, anger, shame, and sadness. In the workplace, at best it could fuel healthy competitiveness, but it often causes silos, power struggles, knowledge hoarding, and gossiping.

 Own Your Emotions.

When we speak of someone making us feel a certain way, we are giving our power away. Instead, the invitation is to own the emotion you are experiencing, understand what triggered it, interrogate the story you are telling yourself about it, and notice what is “underneath” all the noise. In the example above, you might acknowledge that you abhor public speaking, or perhaps you feel self-conscious about taking the spotlight because you value team recognition over individualism; or you prefer time to process before speaking, or maybe you feel insecure about your knowledge on the topic and fear making a mistake. The point is to be rigorously honest with yourself about what is transpiring for you.

Know our value, know our power. Emotional intelligence also means we have an honest assessment of our strengths and weaknesses. When we know where and how we excel, we can contribute in ways that empower us and shine the light for others.

Self-Advocacy.

We need to be our own advocates. That might include speaking up for yourself – articulating your wants, needs, or preferences. It might mean saying no and having clear boundaries. Self-advocacy can also be an invitation to actively pursue what you want to experience. It is an expression of agency.

Agency is the sense of control you feel in your life, your capacity to influence your own thoughts and behavior, the capacity to exercise autonomy in decision-making and in actions. It means you have a choice in how you respond to the emotions that trigger you. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl

The next time you feel a challenging emotion at work, lean in and be curious. How do you want to show up? The choice is yours.

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It's not my job ... or is it?

The phrase “not my job”, has long been a pet peeve of mine. I remember early in my career when I was the marketing director for a general contractor. It was bid day and a bit tense around the office. I was retrieving my mail from the front desk when I overheard the project manager responsible for the bid inform the controller that the fax machine wasn’t working (Back then, that was how we received subcontractor bids). She shrugged her shoulders and blandly responded, “That’s not my job.”

My younger self was not so skilled in the art of communications and I am pretty sure I snapped at her, declaring something like, “I don’t care if the estimating team needs a $%@ cup of coffee, it’s our job to support them on bid day”.

No doubt the “not my job” mentality bristles against my predisposition for helpfulness and my Midwestern work ethic. I also worry that it can also rob people of the camaraderie experienced when there is an “all-hands-on-deck” task to execute. Doing what it takes to get the job done and having each other’s backs have been the epitome of teamwork for me. As someone who hasn’t always been great at asking for help, a culture that promotes lending a hand also makes it easier to ask for and accept support.

I realize the annoyance for me is more about the attitude I perceive behind it. The reality is that it’s more complicated than that. There are ways in which the “not my job” mantra can be invoked, in a professional manner, for smart operational management – bringing clarity and accountability to roles, responsibilities, and workflows. There are times when “not my job” provides a reality check on an organization’s true resource capacity. (When we stretch ourselves too thin, upper management just sees work getting accomplished and may not see the labor it is taking to get there).

Having worked with hundreds of organizations navigating growth and change, I have witnessed how muddied roles and responsibilities can get and how quickly communication breaks down.

Confusion in roles and responsibilities can plant the seeds for frustration and resentment – and often precipitate a decline in productivity and quality.

Expectations + Accountability + Firefighting

People want to understand what is expected of them and for what they will be held accountable. If it falls outside of their domain, they can still contribute on occasion, but it is not a regular ask.

If someone tries to delegate an undesirable task that is theirs, it might be appropriate to redirect their efforts. A classic example I see is when a manager identifies an employee who needs a performance improvement plan (PIP). Oftentimes, that manager informs the employee that Human Resources will be putting them on a PIP. HR is your business partner, there to guide and support you, but it is not their job to manage the employee. You can’t delegate a relationship!

If your organization is experiencing daily firefighting, it is worth examining how clear people’s authority is in their role and how well known and followed are the procedures and protocols? Ironically, it is often in slowing down that you can begin to catch up. #GoSlowToGoFast

 Ownership and Boundaries

It’s healthy to own our role and be accountable for our work. It can be inspiring to tackle tasks that are not in our lane, but that build our knowledge and skills – and our empathy and understanding of how the broader organization functions. It can fuel our creativity to help a colleague navigate a challenging problem. Lending support can foster a more resilient work community.  (Note: I recommend thoughtfulness when embarking on something not in one’s lane as it can be perceived as interfering, controlling, and/or untrusting).

It’s unhealthy when we say “yes” when we need to say “no”. We can feel overworked, underappreciated, and overwhelmed. Consistently overcommitting (no boundaries) deteriorates trust and leads to burnout.  

If we don’t have boundaries for our workload, our own work may suffer, and we may be masking underlying organizational ailments. Is the organization under resourced? Is it tolerating vague, haphazard, and unpredictable workflows? Is it asking people to do work that they are ill-equipped to execute? Is it ignoring poor performance by having top performers pick up the slack?

Sometimes saying “Let me help you with that” is the right offer at the right time. Sometimes, a boundary is exactly the right response.

You may come up against requests of you that are legitimately not your job and require conversations to navigate. Consider it your job to speak up, to articulate your needs, your capacity, be your own advocate, redirect a request, be a team player, and contribute to problem solving.

For example, I’m afraid I don’t know anything about the fax machines, that’s Terry’s expertise. Let me bring her into this conversation. Or “Actually, as your HR Business Partner, I don’t manage the Performance Improvement Plan. I can however coach you through the process so you can mentor your team member.”

Helping our colleagues can be an immensely satisfying experience. When we share a common goal and have our fingerprints on the work, we get to celebrate in the collective wins. It can foster a sense of being needed, appreciated, and belonging. If we are regularly asked to do more than our fair share, it can feel exhausting and generate feelings of being taken for granted.

Healthy boundaries at work can keep us from getting into unhealthy dynamics.  What can you own as your job?

New Paths, Old Resistance

How to keep things right-side up during times of transition.

By Karen Natzel, Business Therapist, K Communications

Let’s face it. Change can be messy. Chaotic. Uncertain. It can also be invigorating and full of possibilities. Change can lead to growth, if we choose to lean into – rather than resist - it.  If we can learn to be fluid, open, and curious to the change we are facing, we can move through the discomfort and into its potential benefits.

Big organizational change typically falls into three buckets: shift in strategy or priorities, change of people / positions, and a redesign of how work gets done. Any one of these can be overwhelming, but often organizations experience change in each of these categories simultaneously. Whatever the change, implementing a few best practices can make it less arduous and more impactful.

Shift in Strategy/Priorities

If external or internal forces require your organization to move in a new direction or to reprioritize your resources, learning how to tell the story of what and why is essential. When you can clearly paint a picture of the reason these changes are in motion, you shorten the adoption of the change and soften the disappointment if a beloved project is being shelved.

When you can explain the changes in context of your team members’ roles and motivators, you make it relevant and compelling, giving them a reason to give the new ideas or initiatives a try. Without a strong story that captures what is in it for them, it can sound like noise and feel like a burden. To lead your team through this chapter, you will need to understand what they truly care about and help them see how they can contribute to the new direction or focus.

Poor implementation of strategy is often a result of a failure to acknowledge natural resistance to change and a missed opportunity to generate engaged buy-in. When you empathize with the struggle and create space for them to shape the outcomes, you’ll generally find you can get better traction.

 Share your vision. Give people something to which they can say an enthusiastic, “Yes!”.

Change of People/Positions

You may have heard the adage, “Right person in the right role”. The wisdom behind this is about leveraging strengths, passions, experience, and ambitions. To set someone up for success in a new role, co-create goals for the first 90-days, 6-months, and year. When those goals are aligned with the organization’s purpose and are in service to a meaningful contribution, you have a winning formula.

New roles, shifts in responsibilities, new colleague relationships, and new authority all mark the experience of a leader’s journey. As one new leader recently confessed, “It’s surprisingly lonely in this role.” It can be daunting to step into a new position. One of the most common laments I hear during times of change is a lack of clarity around roles and responsibilities. This can be befuddling to senior leaders who feel like they have laid out the role and want the new leader to step up and own it.

 Accepting a lack of clarity as a natural condition of leading can foster a healthy bias for action. Rather than waiting for clarity to strike, great leaders take what they see as the next best possible action. Grant yourself – and your team – the permission needed to evolve.

Operational Redesign

At some point, how you’ve always done things will not serve how you need to do things now. By right-sizing your operations with the appropriate workflows and processes, you create a necessary framework for people to understand how work gets done. A process with clear handoffs helps illustrate what people need to do in their respective roles to deliver great work – and it shows the interdependence of cross-functional teams. Effective processes are not patchworked together but also not over-engineered.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

There’s a reason my mantra is “Have the conversation”. Transition breeds confusion. People feel uprooted. Trust can be in jeopardy. A commitment to communicating – keeping people informed and in the loop, engaging in brainstorming sessions, and checking for understanding brings people together.

Leaders, having been privy to the change for a much longer period, often forget to recalibrate to where their people are. Slowing down to roll out the change with some intentionality can help people feel valued and respected. After all, implementation is in the hands of the people!

Leading change isn’t just about presenting a new direction, opportunity, or operational restructuring. It’s about listening to what isn’t working and finding ways to remove the obstacles. It’s about articulating clear expectations and offering supportive guidance. People need feedback – and this is especially true in the face of uncertainty and in the space of new habit formation. By giving specific, real-time positive and constructive feedback, you are reinforcing your expectations while helping them manifest the desired change, one attitude and one behavior at a time.  

As you step into the role of change agent, consider:

• What problem(s) are you trying to solve with the proposed change?

• What are the priorities? Too many or a lack of clarity will torpedo your efforts.

• What are the impacts you are seeking? When you see any proof of progress, acknowledge and celebrate it.

• How aligned is your leadership team? Beating the same drum and in plain speak can aid in advancing the cause.

• How will you be a resource to your team? Hold space for real conversations.

When we move with change, we may find creativity-infused thinking that ignites a fresh perspective. If we move along with the status quo, insisting things are “fine”, we will stagnate.

Leaders who stay grounded in a compelling and shared purpose, and demonstrate a commitment to creating meaningful value, will be better positioned to navigate the sea of change.

Go ahead, experiment, say yes to evolving your organization to what’s next. You don’t need permission to start making a difference.

Preserving Your Culture During Periods of Transition and Growth

A thriving culture attracts and retains great employees, collaborators, and clients. Growth, even when welcomed and necessary, can feel like a threat to that which we cherish.

• We know change is a constant, and sometimes it comes hard and fast.

• We know change is a constant, and yet, we may find ourselves and our teams resistant to it.

Why? Change can spike feelings of uncertainty, triggering a desire to stubbornly preserve what is and to exert control where we can. It can feel more secure to stay with what is known, than to venture into unchartered territory.

Many leaders have expressed to me the legitimate concern that change and growth will upend their beloved culture. They fear becoming, “too corporate”, and losing the essence of who they are; and of losing their capacity to be nimble and fluid. They are right not to take their culture for granted or leave it to chance.

I have witnessed clients come up against the culture challenge during times of change. Intellectually they understand they cannot manage a firm of 80-100 people, the same way they had managed a team of 10-20. Yet, organizations, as a collection of people, have established patterns in how they do what they do. These norms may be formalized into standard operating procedures, or more likely, a loosely organized understanding of how stuff gets done.

It is not uncommon for organizations to continue practices that are well past their effective shelf life. How we have always done things generally is not a compelling reason on its own to be the way in which we do things moving forward.

Telltale Signs

During times of substantial transition and rapid growth, be on the lookout for these common signs of growing pains:

• Increased communication breakdowns. You may find it more challenging to keep people informed, aligned, and engaged, with conflict on the rise.

• Lack of clarity of who does what. Blurred roles and responsibilities can create frustrations and inefficiencies.

• Unclear strategy or direction and competing priorities. To make the most of your resources, you need to articulate a clear plan that gives your team focus and empowerment.

• Decline in quality. Without proper workflows or explicit expectations at all levels, quality can slip.

• Stalled initiatives may indicate a failure to achieve buy-in and/or too many at once, often resulting in a dive in employee engagement.

• Less collaboration and more, “just tell me what to do”.

• Slow decision-making. While being deliberate and inclusive in making important decisions is smart, being overly democratic and indecisive reflects poorly on leadership.

• Compromised brand integrity. Your brand is an external representation of the internal company workings. An integrity gap is the distance between what you say about your organization and how you actually operate. When there is a disconnect, you run the risk of deteriorating trust – internally and externally.

Beware the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. “We’ve always done it this way”; “when I became a leader, we just did whatever it took”. We humans tend to soften past struggles and slip into a simpler story of the past than we originally experienced it. And conditions now are likely different than they were then. Resistance to change by the “old guard” can result in less creativity and contribution by younger or newer staff.

Adaptability in Action.

Recently a client identified critical issues undermining their capacity to deliver.  They underwent a swift departmental restructuring. The resulting reorganization was instrumental in retention of key employees, as well as providing growth opportunities for top talent. This change better reflected and supported the ground truth reality of what was needed to continue delivering optimal service to their clients. They were able to execute this decision quickly and with minimal disruption in part because they embrace a growth mindset. If it’s not working, their culture is equipped to adapt.

Values and Beliefs as GPS Coordinates.

I have a client that has well-established and fully integrated values and beliefs that shape its cultural norms. Managers use them in making decisions and in giving feedback; at meetings you’ll hear their values guiding discussions; and they are embedded in performance reviews. They reflect a commitment to excellence, communications, balanced lives, a safe work environment, accountability, and even fun and laughter. This shared code of conduct helps team members navigate the inevitable challenges and frustrations that arise – internally and externally. And this is a firm with thousands of employees across the globe, serving several public and private industries. In other words, they are a large, complex organization that has relied on its values and beliefs developed at the origin of the company, to keep fostering a culture that creates a sense of belonging while driving performance.

What can you do to lead your organization through times of transition and growth?

Take Inventory:

1.     Examine your organization’s patterns. What still works? What no longer serves you? How do you address difficult issues/conversations? How do you make decisions?

2.     Conduct an Integrity Audit. How well are you living the brand you profess? If you proudly tell clients about your collaborative approach, where might you level up your collaboration internally? Recommit to articulating and practicing your stated values.

3.     What do you cherish about your culture? What is part of your DNA that you want to preserve?

4.     Where can you remove barriers of resistance? How can you enroll others in your vision?

I invite you to shift from being change-resistant to being intentional about creating the change that will best serve your organization. Stability or security is not in tightly holding onto what is, but in trusting in the integrity of how you operate; and in welcoming the creative energy that can come from change.

An intentionally curated culture, based on a solid foundation of values and effective norms, can not only weather the seas of change, but embrace the continual evolution that makes for robust organizational health.

Boundaries: The Promise of Empowerment

The art of articulating your wants and needs

When Warren Miller’s “No Boundaries” extreme ski tour hit the Arlene Schnitzer theater in the mid-2000s, I admit I was bedazzled by the feats, the adrenaline, and the badassery of it all. The freedom of the wild, uncharted territory stirred up a spirit of adventure and unstoppable, rule-breaking energy.

No Limits. It feels so full of possibilities ... so empowering!

My relationship to boundaries was a concept of limitations. It felt like someone telling me what I could and could not do. It felt restrictive. And, for someone who values freedom, I wanted nothing to do with that notion of boundaries!

It took a few years before I understood the tremendous value boundaries can bring to self-care, healthy relationships, and high-functioning teams.  I came to understand boundaries as a mechanism to be more responsible for my experiences, providing me with a way to construct a life on my terms.

Redefining the Lines. 

Boundaries are a way to articulate what you want and need. They tell people what matters to you, what you stand for, and what you will not tolerate. Clear and healthy boundaries reflect healthy self-respect and are an acknowledgment of personal accountability.  They serve as guidelines for how you are treated and how you treat others.  

A Balancing Act

Consider for a moment how you want to be perceived in your workplace. Reliable? Helpful? Valuable? A team player? Kind and generous?

These are all worthy, admirable traits of any professional. Where we tend to get into trouble is when we over-index. We tip the scales to being hyper-reliable and helpful, regularly bending over backwards to accommodate others. Reactionary rather than responsive. We perceive our value as to being the “go to” person that always says, “yes”. We put in an extraordinary amount of effort at the eleventh hour and at the expense of other personal commitments, so that we don’t let the team down or the project falter.  In the mistaken name of kindness and generosity we send mixed messages and unclear feedback while perpetuating coddling.

All of this muddies the water of good working relationships. It adds the burden of confusion to team dynamics and can lead to power struggles, assumptions, and resentment. Trust and respect are on the line when we fail to articulate and keep healthy boundaries.

Strong relationships have a more equal exchange of give and take. We negotiate with each other to accomplish the tasks at hand while getting our fundamental needs met. When people know where we stand – and where they stand with us – we create a space for honest dialogue.

Where Boundaries Often Exist

Time, energy, and personal space are common domains for boundary-setting. Your time is finite and how you spend it reflects your values and priorities. If you find your calendar regularly at the whim of others’ demands, you likely will not feel in control of your own time.

If you find yourself exhausted from overcommitments or energy sucking activities and people, you may need to set boundaries to protect your own energy. Boundary setting is essential when you experience unacceptable behavior from others such as disrespect or hostility. It may come in the form of someone talking over you, taking credit for your work, speaking ill of others, showing up late, not responding to repeated requests, or in taking advantage of you in some way.

Violations + Triggers – How do you know a boundary has been crossed?

You may not have clear boundaries in place, but you likely have experienced the emotions that come with a boundary violation.

Emotional states such as anxiety, anger, shame, annoyance, indignation, not feeling appreciated, are cues that something is amiss. These telltale signs can help bring clarity to what we want that we are not getting.

Why can it be so hard to create and maintain boundaries?

Have you had the experience of someone asking you to go to an event that you don’t want to go to, and if you have a pre-existing commitment, you cheerfully reply, “Thanks for the invite but I have plans”. Yet, if you don’t actually have plans, find it uncomfortable just to say, “No thanks.”?

When we attempt to put a boundary in place we may feel like we are letting others down. We may feel real or perceived pressure to say yes. It can stir up a twinge of guilt.

It is a social skill to read people. If, however, we spend so much energy considering what we say and how we say it, we might be mistaking our emotional awareness with people pleasing.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be helpful. The problems emerge when we take on other peoples’ issues as our own. We can be responsible to others without being responsible for them.

We also may have a perception that “boundary keepers” are rigid, too sensitive, or selfish, thereby making boundary setting feel unsavory.  A reframe is that boundary keepers are committed to long term sustainable success, creating an environment of focus, respect, clarity, and continued check-ins to reflect the evolving needs of the work environment.

How to become a better, guilt-free, empowered "Boundary Keeper"  

• Protect your time. Whether that’s a time block to tackle a work project without interruption or keeping an agreement you’ve made with yourself.

• Limit time with people whose energy is exhausting to you.

• Ask for help or delegate.

• Don’t answer emails after hours or on weekends.

• Renegotiate priorities when your workload is at capacity.

• Stop being the dumping ground of office drama. You can choose to listen but redirect them to resolve the issue with the person with whom they are in conflict.

• Maintain objectivity by not getting too invested in others’ stuff. 

• Don’t share someone else’s struggles. It’s their story to tell.

What boundary are you ready to set?

Maintaining boundaries requires a healthy dose of self-awareness and discipline. Stay connected to what you see as the benefits of honoring your boundaries. Don't be surprised if you find it to be an incredibly freeing and empowering experience! 

 ~ Karen

P.S. I invite you to confidentially share your boundary breakthroughs and setbacks with me. I love hearing from other people doing the work, or as Brene Brown likes to say, someone who is "in the arena". 

Develop Leadership Resiliency - for you, your team, and your organization's well-being

This week I facilitated a client’s offsite retreat. Six months ago, they restructured their business - increasing the size of the leadership team and reexamining roles and responsibilities. All very common organizational shifts during cycles of growth and change.

I conducted an exercise I called, “Taking the Pulse”, to see what was working, what was not (yet) working, and what they were learning from the first half of the year. They spoke of the collective energy and passion, the evolving ability to see the firm’s vision, the openness to having hard conversations, and that as a leadership team they hadn’t quite found their rhythm. One participant captured it well in saying, “Building trust and respect amongst your peers takes time.”

Trust and respect are foundational to high-performing teams. When we invest in building mutual trust and respect in our relationships - our work and our organizational health - is more robust. The presence of trust and respect in a work relationship makes for what my client calls, “worthy collaborators.” And the experience is transformational (and fun!). Yet we often gloss over how to effectively build these relationship skills to competently and confidently lead! Leadership is not about having all the answers, or even fixing all the problems, rather, it is about creating a culture of shared resiliency. 

Defining Resiliency

My working definition of resiliency is the capacity to prepare for, adapt to, and recover from adversity, change, challenge, and stress. Leading is hard. Resilient leadership is a belief system and learned skill set designed to help leaders navigate the constant uncertainty they face, together.

As I was formulating the program for the retreat, I realized I wanted the team to feel safe to speak up, contribute, and engage in respectful candor. I wanted each leader to be seen and heard for who they are and what they bring. I wanted them to be open – actively listening to each other with curiosity, not judgment or resistance. I wanted them to leave the retreat owning their roles.

I also wanted to hold space for the team to connect with each other and learn together. This of course requires a degree of vulnerability, and I was not sure what their appetite was for that at this stage of their journey. Then it struck me, what I really wanted was to empower the members of the leadership team with a key resiliency trait – a growth mindset!

“People with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities for growth and discovery; whereas those with a fixed mindset see them as impossible obstacles and tend to confine themselves to the boundaries of their comfort zones”, Ashley Pena, LCSW, Executive Director, Mission Connection

Psychologist Carol Dweck developed the concept of the growth mindset after decades of research, and popularized it in her 2006 non-academic book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. Since then, Dweck’s protégé, social psychologist Marcy C. Murphy, has shown that mindset transcends individuals. Her research reveals that, “organizations and teams more geared towards growth inspire deeper learning, spark collaboration, spur innovation, and build trust necessary for risking-taking and inclusion.”

I am currently reading Murphy’s book, “Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations” as part of a client book club. It was originally recommended by organizational psychologist, Adam Grant, who suggests the book as a “…useful road map to building a learning organization and unlocking the potential in people.”

What does it mean to have a growth mindset?

A growth mindset reflects the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, hard work, and learning.

Key characteristics include:

1.     Embracing Challenges: Seeing challenges as opportunities to grow rather than obstacles that thwart progress.

2.     Persistence. In the face of setbacks, perseverance prevails.

3.     Effort. Valuing the work as a path to mastery.

4.     Experiencing mistakes as discoveries, portals for learning.

5.     Welcoming feedback as a mechanism for continuous improvement.

6.     Finding inspiration, not envy, from others’ successes.

7.     Adaptability. Being open to new ideas and willing to adjust approaches.

8.     Curiosity. A desire to grow that is so strong, one values the learning over being right.  (Or as one of my clients is fond of saying, “I like being right so much that when I am wrong, I just change my mind!”)

An essential complement to the growth mindset, is the capacity for self-compassion. By alleviating harsh self-criticism, self-compassion reduces the fear of failure, making it more inviting to embrace the risks necessary for growth. Self-compassion fuels motivation and enthusiasm, rather than feeding self-doubt and negativity. 

Embracing challenges, fully applying our best effort, and expanding our potential does more than deliver results. I would contend that living from a place of curiosity and a desire for discovery brings a sense of wonder and expansiveness to one’s work. It offers us deep satisfaction and self-efficacy. Practically, it also helps us have a broader perspective of what is and what is not significant in the grand scheme of things (which can help mitigate stress). A bonus: approaching life this way tends to reduce our feelings of regret!

Experiencing our work with a growth mindset is a way for leaders, teams, and organizations to more sustainably achieve holistic success. It sets the tone for learning, growing, and achieving together. Resilient leadership is an invitation to lead an authentic, thriving culture, while fortifying one’s own energy for the long game.

As you travel on this path, remember the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

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Validate to Illuminate

Our work is more enjoyable when the relationships with our colleagues are healthy. With higher levels of respect and trust, we experience more robust collaborations, more creative problem solving, and more nimble decision-making. We also experience more camaraderie, satisfaction, and, of course, better results.

When our relationships are strained our efforts are hampered. Miscommunication, decreased accountability, increased politics, silos, and one-upmanship begin to shape the cultural norms, seeping into the work experience and diminishing team capacity and leadership credibility.

At the crux of good business is good relationships. Nurturing relationships in an honest and caring way builds a kind of resiliency that will weather the inevitable storms brought on by differing perspectives, organizational growth, and persistent change.

How do we become better at relationships?

It is not a technical skill. It’s not a checklist or a mastered technique (although knowledge, skills, and tools can be helpful). It is a human, social competency. It is a chosen temperament to invest in getting to know a person and allowing others to truly get to know you.

Have you ever had someone really understand your perspective? Get where you were coming from? Share a connected kindred spirit vibe? It is a satisfying experience to be seen and heard. It is the cornerstone of connection.

New York Times columnist, David Brooks guides us in the “skilled art of seeing others and making them feel seen, known, and understood,” in his new book, “How to Know a Person”.

He explains that building a relationship involves “being curious about other people; disagreeing without poisoning relationships; revealing vulnerability at an appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; and knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”

Do you illuminate or diminish?

How we show up matters. We all leave an “emotional wake” in our exchange with others. Do people feel inspired by your presence or stifled? Hungry to grow or hesitant to contribute?

Brooks speaks of “illuminators” and “diminishers”, defined as:

• Illuminators are genuinely curious about others – their stories, experiences, perspectives, and beliefs. They shine a bright light of caring and warmth that make people “feel bigger, deeper, respected, and lit up,” says Brooks.

• Diminishers are so focused on themselves that others feel insignificant in their presence. They see people as tools; tending to stereotype and label; determining the totality of who a person is by one trait they witnessed. 

Validate to Illuminate

In addition to giving your full attention, asking good questions, deeply listening, and generally being a good conversationalist, if you want to level up your relationships, you can learn the empathetic art of validating.

Validating is recognizing and affirming a person and their feelings and opinions as valid or worthy. Invalidating is when we deny, reject, or dismiss someone’s feelings, thereby sending the message that their subjective emotional experience is somehow inaccurate, insignificant or unacceptable.

 Validating is NOT agreeing with someone. It is not placating, coddling, or manipulating. It is slowing down the conversation enough to hold space for another’s reality, without judgment.

 Failure to Validate

Have you ever been in a conversation that escalates into friction and frustration? Often in those moments we may feel like the other person is not hearing us, and likely that feeling is mutual. When we fail to validate another’s experience, we miss the opportunity to connect and learn. We also risk missing the magical moment that could have created a breakthrough.

When difficult feelings are expressed, acknowledged, and validated by a trusted listener, those feelings will diminish. If they are ignored, the pain – and sense of separation and isolation - will gain strength.

Common missteps:

• We try to make someone feel better. When we hear someone struggling, we attempt to be their cheerleader to help them gain perspective or see a silver lining. While that can be beneficial at the right time, if we have failed to validate, it tends to shut people down as they feel dismissed. Examples: “well, it could have been worse”, or “at least it is not x”, or “look on the bright side…”.

• We try to fix it by giving unsolicited advice. “You should x”, or “Have you thought about doing x”.

• We make it about us. To be relatable, we may slip into our own story, e.g. “I have had that happen to me. Let me tell you about the time when…”.

In the moments where we are not feeling validated, it can be difficult to extend it to others. Withholding validation until the other acknowledges us sets the dynamic up for misalignment and if repeated regularly, a broken relationship.

How can you validate?

It doesn’t have to be lengthy or complicated. It can be simply acknowledging another’s emotional state. “That sounds challenging”, or “That must be frustrating”, are often good starters. If you are not able to read their emotional state, you can ask, “How are you feeling about x?”. Connecting with empathy and compassion creates a new energy in the conversation. After you have validated, you might ask how you can further assist. Do they want a possibility thinking partner? An accountability partner? Or, is being a nonjudgmental sounding board sufficient?

Relationship building can be vulnerable and unpredictable. But, if you want to elevate a relationship and invest in a healthy work environment, consider practicing the art of validation. It is an act of honoring another person’s experience, feelings, or point of view – while creating space for deeper understanding and alignment.  

Collaboration in Action: Improv @ The City of Dallas

Collaboration is on a fast track at the City of Dallas. City Manager, Ron Foggin, called me to explore how we could deliver a fresh take on customer service - one of the City's core values. He wanted to approach it from both an internal perspective (among the City's various departments - community development, emergency medical services, fire, police, parks & recreation, finance, public works, and legal); as well as how to best serve the multitude of external customers (citizens). We created, "Empowered Service: How to Deliver Excellence in Customer Service with Emotional Intelligence + Collaboration".

City employees readily embraced the series of interactive exercises aimed at raising their emotional awareness and their ability to more fluidly work together. 

We engaged in some awkward and valuable listening exercises; we played at improvisation - not as comics but as team members understanding the value of "Yes, And" as a way to spark creativity and not shut down ideas; we explored how challenging it is to not use "I" in a conversation; the power of keeping agreements; and the energy of emotions in a game called, "Emotional Outbursts".  

I was impressed with how this team accepted the challenge and started identifying areas in their work (and in their personal lives) they can integrate emotional intelligence and collaboration. The knowledge and tools the team practiced are all critical building blocks for solid relationships.   

Create a Healthy Sense of Urgency

Organizational change guru John Kotter wrote an entire book on the importance of creating "A Sense of Urgency", noting the rate of change is rapidly going up (and this was written seven years ago!). Any significant change requires a sense of urgency to build traction-gaining momentum. 

Kotter describes having a sense of urgency as a way of thinking, feeling and behaving based on the premise that the world holds enormous opportunities and hazards that we must deal with today. He speaks to a "gut level determination" to get up in the morning and do what's right to move things forward.  It requires being alert; paying attention; courageously embracing the unknown; a personal sense of accountability; and the belief in one's ability to affect change. It also requires clarity and commitment. A sense of urgency can show up in something as straightforward as conducting meetings that actually accomplish something!

 Beware the "False sense of urgency" 

Organizations that exist at a frenetic pace may feel like they have a sense of urgency; but in reality they suffer from a lot of unfocused activity that requires an enormous amount of energy and is hampered by anxiety and stress. A true, healthy sense of urgency generates an on-purpose environment; one that can handle the plethora of opportunities and hazards. It fosters efficiencies; focusing on the right things; getting rid of the unnecessary and channeling resources.

Do you have an urgency problem? How can you ignite your team to embrace a sense of urgency that moves the right things forward?

Begin with clear priorities and aligned goals, build in accountability for results and give people permission - and the expectation - to "move now" to make things happen. This kind of on-fire intentionality will be immensely more rewarding and even fun. Your organization will be more resilient; and your team, more empowered. 

Conflict on the Rise (That is, the desire to learn how to navigate it!)

Since rolling out, "Where Conflict & Safety Intersect", at SafeBuild's 2014's final quarterly meeting, the topic has been in demand! 

Participants Gain Insights on How Healthy Conflict Can Positively Impact Safety Culture. 

Business owners, safety professionals, superintendents and project managers came together to explore how healthy attitudes and effective communication skills can make their safety culture more robust.

Communication has transitioned from being considered a "soft skill" to a skill that is seen as imperative to creating a proactive safety mindset - as well as creating efficiencies, high performance and the building of strong relationships. Participants explored the healthy and unhealthy attitudes and beliefs we hold about conflict and examined more effective, skill-based communication approaches to resolving issues and enriching relationships.

I believe people are hungry for the skills to navigate difficult conversations and enrich relationships, and the growing interest in this topic also tells me that people are ready to have the conversation! It's an honor to work with professionals ready to raise their game! 

Thanks Karen Blythe of SafeBuild, Roger Lenneberg of Jordan Ramis, Scott Jacoby of Schnitzer Steel and all the participants who have actively been engaged in growing their awareness and skills about healthy, constructive conflict. 

Cultivate Your Culture - One Conversation At A Time

“Company culture is a work of art where each person leaves their mark on the community canvas to make something beautiful that belongs to everyone. What I think people want is a place where their work matters. A place where they get to make decisions, build, invent, innovate, all with an amazing team at their side. People want to leave at the end of the day feeling good about what they do. Even when they make mistakes.”  -- Jaime Bancroft-Gennaro, Managing Director, Neologic PDX

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When I work with companies in shaping their culture, one of the first places we look is how effective and authentic are the conversations between colleagues in various departments, between the office and field and between leadership and their teams. Regular, honest, respectful and direct dialogue fuels trust - which in turns feeds performance; initiative, accountability - even creativity.

If your organization is not where it wants to be, examine the culture of your communications:

• How do you interact?
• How do you speak to each other?
• How do you speak about each other?
• How are decisions made and communicated?
• How do you run your meetings?
• How aligned and informed are your team members?
• How clear are expectations?
• How do you recognize contributions?
• How do you give constructive feedback?

Improving in this one core competency - communications - can help craft the kind of culture the drives performance. It can also have people leaving at the end of their day feeling a sense of satisfaction about their role in the company's success.

Keep the conversation alive. And keep it real.  Cultivate your culture - one conversation at a time.

Where Conflict & Safety Intersect

SafeBuild Alliance Quarterly Meeting

As a recent member of SafeBuild Alliance, I had the opportunity to co-present with attorney Roger Lenneberg (Jordan Ramis) on how conflict can impact safety. There are usually two camps on conflict: (1) Avoid it and (2) Aggressively attack it. Roger and I believe there is another way. Conflict is not something to be avoided nor aggressively addressed, but embraced early with healthy attitudes and effective communication skills.  Good conflict addresses and resolves the issue while enriching the relationship.

Conflict gets exasperated when we take things personally, make assumptions, let it go unattended or react defensively. One of the more healthful (and effective) ways to address it is to seek to truly understand the other person's point of view (to the point that you could actually convincingly articulate their position). Additionally:

• Recognize that reasonable minds can differ.
• Check your assumptions.
• Address an issue early before has a chance to fester.
• Be clear about what you want, need and expect.
• Be accountable for your role.
• Assume good intent.
• Find common ground.
• Cultivate an environment that respects and encourages healthful dialogue

When we fail to have regular, robust and candid conversations, we put our relationships at risk (eroding trust, respect and patience for each other). When the relationships deteriorate we tend to be more distracted and less attentive to our colleagues' well-being. These subtle and not-so-subtle ailments can negatively impact your safety culture.

For the sake of your relationships, and your health, seek to embrace the kind of conversations that get to the heart of the matter and build your team!    Click here for full article.

Former CEO of Xerox shares what it takes to navigate challenging times

Found this article of interest – interview with Patricia Nazemetz is former CEO of Xerox, from The SheSuite.  

I share it with you for insights into your own leadership styles and effectiveness. I would be curious to hear your impressions.

http://www.i4cp.com/interviews/patricia-nazemetz-on-the-courage-to-lead?utm_source=all&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Email

 My takeaways:

• Biggest challenge today: resolving the pressure of profit optimization. Short / long term approach; defining “Growth” in an overall business value proposition, not just profit
• To capture employees hearts – engage them in open, honest and constant communications. Transparency, honesty and sincerity are key.
• People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Invite them in.
• Strongest qualities in a leader: courage | integrity | intelligence | ability to really listen | conviction | commitment
• Ask, Listen, Think, Thank and Act!
• Leadership Development – Find those teaching moments; build your and your team’s self awareness

 Lead on!