Friction in the Workplace: Friend or Foe?

Friction … most of us would prefer to live without it.

Having recently battled bouncing emails where, unbeknownst to me, clients and colleagues were receiving an “address not found” message, I can attest that the attempt to fix the problem was fraught with friction. Dead-end research, yet another authentication process, an expired code, a too-friendly, inauthentic AI chatbot … each only heightened my angst.

That kind of friction adds no value to our day, other than perhaps my deep appreciation for the IT heroes who ultimately helped bring my email back to life. That kind of friction is disruptive, stressful and reduces our capacity to perform.

Friction in the workplace can show up as tension and discomfort: leaders out of alignment, teams embroiled in conflict, or something as simple as feeling frustrated. Left unattended, friction can create cliques and silos, stall projects, and diminish relationships. When this kind of friction takes hold in an organization, cultures can become high-drama and low-efficacy. It can leave your people exhausted.

And yet … not all friction is created equally. In fact, some friction is beneficial.

Imagine friction as the creative tension among diverse and passionate team members dedicated to delivering on your organization’s mission. The bubbling up of differences – ideas, approaches, beliefs and opinions – adds depth and dimension to problem-solving, opening doors for innovative thinking and building mutual respect.

If you have a healthy forum, one that fosters psychological safety, friction can be recognized and addressed for what it is. It sets the stage for what I call “co-creating”: an opportunity for all voices to be heard and for varying perspectives to weigh in from their unique vantage point.

In this kind of space, friction is afforded the room to turn up the heat on a more robust dialogue – and ultimately, a more optimal and well-vetted solution. The level of buy-in is elevated, and the identification and mitigation of risks are more likely to be examined honestly.

Imagine you need to make a decision that you know is going to ignite controversy. There’s palpable tension around the issue. You might avoid it, have side conversations to build your case, or consciously or subconsciously make those who disagree with you wrong. These strategies tend to create more office politics and lower trust.

Now imagine sharing the decision you are facing with your leadership team. You acknowledge the discomfort in the room. You lay out your case and explain why you think the way you do, perhaps in the context of your organization’s mission and values. You then facilitate an honest conversation, inviting your team to challenge your thinking and assumptions, explore viable alternatives, and examine the potential impacts on the team, culture, clients and bottom line.

This kind of structured dialogue makes it more likely that you will make an informed, collaborative decision that produces more aligned action.

A little healthy friction can unveil what really matters: your values, commitments, and priorities.

Consider a seemingly simple situation: someone invites you to an event that matters deeply to them, but you don’t want to go. You care about the person, and you don’t want to disappoint them. So you start searching for a reason that will make your “no” easier for them to hear.

Maybe you say you already have plans. Maybe you blame your workload. Maybe you offer a convenient little white lie.

The interesting part isn’t the decision itself. It’s what happens inside you as you construct the answer. When the explanation you’re giving isn’t actually true, something in you knows it. You’re working to make your words acceptable while knowing they aren’t quite aligned with how you want to show up.

We experience this same kind of internal friction at work.

It can happen when we make a decision that conflicts with a value we hold. When we stay silent because speaking up feels uncomfortable. When we say we’re committed to collaboration but choose to make the decision ourselves. When we tell our team that candor matters, then avoid giving the feedback someone genuinely needs. When we prioritize quality but let an important standard slide because we’re under pressure to get something out the door.

That friction is worth paying attention to. It can be a pathway to awareness and growth.

It may be telling us that something important is out of alignment. Not necessarily that we’ve made the wrong decision, but that we’ve crossed paths with a value, commitment or priority that deserves our attention.

In that sense, friction isn’t always something to eliminate. Sometimes it’s information.

The invitation is to notice what triggers your experience of friction and the ways in which you tend to respond. Pay attention to experiences of overthinking and overanalyzing, avoiding or feeling overwhelmed. These may be indicators that something important is asking for your attention.

Friction is usually associated with some level of frustration. And behind frustration is often a hope, desire, want, need or expectation for a certain experience or outcome.

Examining our frustrations with curiosity and kindness can help us make sense of what the emotion is telling us. What’s underneath your frustration? What matters to you here? What expectation, need or value is being challenged?

This line of inquiry can help you name the source of the friction, which in turn can help you address the root cause.

Sometimes the most useful question isn’t, “How do I get rid of this uncomfortable feeling?” but “What is this friction trying to tell me about how I want to lead?”

A frictionless workplace is not only unachievable, it’s not ideal. It’s bland. It can signal an avoidance of real conversations and bigger opportunities. When people start going through the motions, stagnation and apathy can take hold.

I’m not suggesting you want a workplace full of friction.

Instead, normalize friction as an indicator that something matters and deserves to be addressed.

Invite the real conversations that turn friction into robust collaboration.

Move friction from foe to friend.

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Change is Not the Enemy

Let’s talk about change.

Not the strategic roadmap version of it, or the sanitized bullet points in a PowerPoint deck. I mean real, messy, uncomfortable change—the kind that stirs up feelings, disrupts routines, and makes people clutch their coffee cups a little tighter in morning meetings.

Here’s the thing: we all know change is constant. And yet, when it shows up—a new system launches, a reorg is announced, or the “way we’ve always done it” is up for debate—our gut reaction is often to resist.

Why is that?

At the heart of our discomfort is the feeling of not being in control. (Any other “control enthusiasts” out there?!). Even if we didn’t love the old way, at least we understood it – and our place in it. The predictability brought comfort. Change, on the other hand, forces us into unknown territory—and that triggers fear, loss, and sometimes a sneaky little emotion we rarely admit in the workplace: grief.

Grief? Yes. Grief over a role in which we once had more clarity. Grief over lost status. Grief over norms that suddenly vanish in the name of “efficiency.”

Even welcomed changes can be stressful. The uncertainty combined with real or perceived risks can be daunting. It is natural to experience resistance – often in the forms of avoidance, worry, delayed decision-making, and giving into negativity biases. We may hunger for such absolute reassurance of choosing the “right” path that it puts us into an analysis paralysis.

Left unchecked, resistance can lead to frustration, communication breakdowns, credibility issues, relationship struggles, energy suck, and stagnation.

But here’s the opportunity: what if, instead of reacting from fear, we responded with curiosity?

This is where becoming a change agent comes in. Not necessarily in title, but in mindset. Change agents don’t wait to be convinced—they get curious. They ask questions like: “What’s possible now that wasn’t before?” or “What do we want to create together?”

Being a change agent doesn’t mean pretending change is easy. It means acknowledging the discomfort and choosing to engage anyway. It means advocating for context, compassion, and communication—because people don’t resist change as much as they resist being changed without their input.

Leaders with a healthy relationship to change find they can make better and more timely decisions, have a bias for action, and know how to inspire others. They also can identify when it is time to shift gears (neither too soon or too slowly), with an understanding of when their team’s groove has gone into autopilot and morphed into a rut of inertia.

You may not consider yourself an agent of change, but if you are a leader, you set the tone. If you tend to be cautious around change, be transparent about your assessment of a situation and invite others to make their case. If you tend to make change too rapidly – or fail to bring your team along – you could benefit from slowing down and providing the business case so that you don’t fall victim to, “ready, fire, aim”.

Change leadership means creating clarity, reducing fear, and empowering action.

Leaders who embrace change as a natural phenomenon create a culture of initiative-taking, possibility thinking, problem-solving, and innovation. This is not change for the sake of change but change with purpose – aligned with the organization’s vision and goals, designed to grow the next generation of leaders, and tuned into the evolution of the industry and shifts in the market.

So how do you build this kind of mindset?

In my resiliency workshops, we talk a lot about adopting a growth mindset as a way to navigate new situations, challenges, or life’s curve balls.

Notice your own resistance. What is it trying to protect? Then move to empathy – for yourself and others. Your coworkers aren’t being “difficult”—they’re navigating uncertainty just like you. Listen more. Validate concerns. Create space for people to process.

Take action. Even small moves matter. Be the person who translates ambiguity into enthusiasm. Offer solutions. Connect dots. Celebrate wins, even the tiny ones. And when things go sideways—and they will—lead with honesty and accountability, not spin.

Making the Case for Change

In Jim Collins’ book, “Good to Great”, he argues that the problem with “good companies” is that they get complacent. Done thoughtfully, change can give you a competitive advantage and revive lethargic cultures. It can propel teams away from tolerating mediocracy and light a fire for growth. Done poorly, and it can simply be disruptive and chaotic. Think, “squirrel” or “flavor of the month”. The common response I hear from long-term employees in these workplaces? They choose to take no action and tell newcomers, “this too shall pass”.

Building trust during times of change is one of the most critical responsibilities of a leader. An effective way to do that is to be transparent, sit with the messiness of it, model adaptability, and rally others forward.

Because here’s the truth: change is rarely a solo sport. It’s collective. Cultural. Cumulative. The more we embrace that, the more resilient, creative, and aligned our organizations become.

How do you do change?

Whatever your relationship is to change – resist it, embrace it, begrudgingly accept it, or actively seek it out – it is an inevitable force in our workplaces.

Most people have a complex relationship to change. We can desire it while actively resisting it.  We can energetically seek it out only to not be satisfied with it once we get it – feeling perpetually restless. We may avoid it unconsciously with statements like, “we’ve tried that before” or “nothing’s going to change”. Perhaps you are totally comfortable with the idea others changing!

So, let’s reframe our relationship to change. It’s not just something to endure—it’s something to shape.

And maybe—just maybe— change is not the enemy; it is merely an invitation to evolve.

What change are you ready to champion?